Have you ever left a conversation and hours later put words to what you wanted to say? This happens almost every time I am involved in a conversation, specifically meaningful ones. Some people ask me why I am always so quiet during conversations, and some people probably just think I'm shy. Regardless of what people think, it is the reason I have started this Blog, and have called it "Two Seconds Too Late," even though it should be titled something like "A few hours too late" but that just doesn't flow as well. Well, enough of the intro, let’s get to the first real Blog.
Relatively recently my wife and I were led to stop attending church. This was a big step for both of us, as we have regularly attended church since the beginnings of our lives. Ever since we have made this decision, it has brought on an incredible amount of conversations regarding the topic of church. In the beginning, I wasn't so good at answering questions, so I will try to address many concerns, issues, and my general state of mind here.
Now, we did not stop attending church because our belief system had changed, in fact, we stopped attending church because we felt it was what our God was telling us to do. Weird huh? Why would God ever want you to stop going to church?
Well, I believe one of the key concepts of attending church is to build a vast and strong community with other believers. Humans always want interaction with other humans, specifically with humans of similar styles. That is why athletes play sports together and philosophers schedule tea time with each other. People get along with people that are similar to them, and they are fueled by these people as well. Competition in the sports world always pushes the limit and forces athletes to get stronger, faster, and better, just as conversation and interaction with other believers sparks deeper thought and connection with God. We were not achieving this community at church, and it wasn't from lack of effort.
I believe God wanted my wife and me to get away from the institution of church, and to build a community free of obligations and judgment. God wanted us to transition from a religious obligation, into a relational reality. He wanted us to be a part of a community of believers who do everything from hiking and snowboarding to indulging in thought about the origins of the universe together. This community would be full of trust, love and friendship. When I think of the first church, I picture people hanging out together in small groups, with excitement about what is to come, and what they believe God is telling them to do next. They would support each other, and the experienced would give advice in their area of expertise. This first church would not have a hierarchy or a list of people "in charge." They would get as close to God as they could, and wait and listen to see what He desired them to do next. These people would never just do something because doing something is better than nothing, instead realization would occur; God has already done everything and has us in this world to do relatively simple things. These things would be to spread the word of their beliefs by how they acted around others, and by showing genuine love towards others, not by judging or shouting exclaiming the "truth" in the middle of a plaza.
Going to church should not be a thing you do because you feel it is your obligation, or because your parents do it. It should be an act of passion and desire, and above all else, it should be because you feel God is leading you to that building. God was not leading me to the building or the other building down the street; in fact he was leading me far from it. I found myself frustrated when I would leave church instead of rejuvenated. I was frustrated at the behavior of people, and the lack of love towards other people shown. The church should not be an institution full of rituals, obligation, and busy bodies. God's church is not the institution, it is the body of believers who are living full of love and excitement because of who they know, and who loves them. I am sure there are great churches out there, but I know there are great people and believers out there dying to be a part of a community, and I want to know them and be a part of their lives.
Community can be the building block to great things, and I believe it is not stressed near enough in life, let alone in religion. Our society has become entirely too independent, we need to get over ourselves and remember how to work with, and support one another. The first building block which should fall in place for this community is a deep and true relationship with God. Instead of feeling lonely because you feel you are not a part of a community, focus on your relationship with God. Once a relationship with God is built strong, relationships with other people can reach levels never dreamed of. God's church is not a lonely one, it is packed full of believers, and these people need each other. They need each other to drop the unnecessary obligations in their life, the distractions which lead them away from each other and their Father. Once we, the Church, put our focus back on the love God has for us, and the love we have for each other, great things can and will happen.
Cool, I'm glad you are blogging about this stuff. I think it's really good in that it is honest and that you bring out some really important problems in the church. I think that it is really awesome that you are stepping out and taking action about it.
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of community and sharpening each other, I have a few things to ask/say:
1. So what precisely do you mean when you say that God called you to stop going to church? "God calling" means many different things to many different people. Were there just a bunch of different adverse circumstances (a la Romans 1:13), or was it thinking and reasoning (hopefully with alot of scripture and prayer), or was it something obviously supernatural (like Acts 16:9 - I don't think it was this in your case though, haha)? I think it's a good idea to have a distinction between these things in our heads and in how we communicate them, especially to people outside of Christian circles. I think that reasoning with scripture and prayer is a really good way to make decisions, but I think that we can get confused if we decide that our own decisions are the will of God.
2. One thing that I think is extremely important if you are trying to establish some sort of community outside of the institutionalized church is that you stay focused on the Bible. It's really easy to forget about that, especially for us in our youth, and get led astray by things that seem good, so keep that in mind.
3. I'm not sure that pulling away from the classical institutionalized church is the best way to address the issues that you speak of. There is a youthful movement to pull away from the Church and be independent so that we can refocus on what is important. Focusing on what is important is always right, but I think that movement towards independence from institution may not always be. For example, outside of institutions, it's often hard to get lots of different kinds of people together, especially people of different ages, and we need that kind of diversity to keep us level-headed; the church has always had elders so that the energy of youth can work together with the wisdom that comes with age.
I wish I had time look at this more in scripture because I am not sure that I am right, but it seems like in the New Testament, even when there is despicable sin or disgusting heresy going on in a specific church, Paul and the other church leaders do not walk away. Instead, they turn back and engage them (we see this in Paul's letters). So perhaps it is a good idea for us youth to try to engage the institutionalized church rather than walk away. Maybe we should build a community outside of the institutionalized church, but also keep a foot in so that we can bring what we have to offer back in and benefit in our walk from what the institutionalized church has to offer.
I hope this doesn't sound too critical or anything. I am really glad you are doing something about the problems you see, and I don't have it all figured out; I'm just offering my thoughts.
Oh shoot, I forgot to say this - I can see that you're feeling burnt out, and have put a ton of work into trying to find community in the institutionalized church. Make sure you are relying on the Holy Spirit's strength in this and not your own. I know that sounds cliche, but that has helped me time and time again.
ReplyDeleteI will try to address most of the questions and concerns you have. But first, I want to know the first feeling you had while reading my post, was it a feeling of “wow, he is really trying to figure out what God wants him to do” or was it “Ugh…are you kidding? What is he doing now?” As you stated, sharpening each other is a pivotal part of our lives, but I think there is a fine line between sharpening and judging. As a fellow brother and follower of Christ, I believe a certain amount of trust is in order, and I just hope we are both discussing this with respect for each other and knowing we are both trying to do what God has in plan for us.
ReplyDeleteNow, with the first question about God calling us to stop going to church, it was a lot of praying, thinking, discussing with each other, talking with other people, listening to podcasts…etc. It was also some carefully placed signs God led us into, and it ended with a huge leap of faith, a leap which has taught us an immense amount and strengthened our relationship with God. That alone lets me know that maybe, just maybe, it was the right thing to do.
I think at times you missed the point of my blog, or maybe I just worded parts poorly. But I never intended to point out issues the institutionalized church has. Every church has its problems, but that is no reason to stop going. People can always find a church that is to their liking, deciding to stop attending church because of the “issues” it has is just a lazy excuse to sleep in on Sunday mornings. The reason I stopped attending church on Sunday mornings was because I felt God telling me to. This action was not to seek independence; it was actually quite the opposite. He wanted me to engage the real church; the body of believers. Sure it may be hard to make relationships outside of the institution, but to be honest with you I’ve made more outside of it than I have inside.
The last comment you made about me being burnt out trying to find a community in the institution was right on, it was exactly what we were doing. We were trying way too hard to get friends by going to church and we were not relying on God to supply those people. This whole thing began when we started relying on God. Maybe I should have started the blog by saying that, but I think your comments helped me realize more how it all started; how God was the one that got it all rolling.
Of course this is with the utmost respect! I wouldn't have written anything if I didn't respect your judgment and think that you are wise enough to figure this out on your own. I am trying to present challenges to your ideas, not challenges against you as a person. That's what I do when I want to engage someone - I challenge their ideas. I came with my honest thoughts because it would be disrespectful to give you anything less. I really do think that you and Kim are trying to do what brings the most glory to God, and I do trust you in that.
ReplyDeleteI can see now that the way I wrote my comment does seem to imply that I am judging what you did to be wrong. I really just wanted to know more about what you are thinking, and to challenge your ideas because I was challenging them in my mind. Whenever anyone says that they are going to quit going to church on Sundays, I am skeptical about whether their thinking is solid. When I read your post I was thinking "Hmm, I didn't expect this... I wonder why he and Kim are doing this? Have they thought about it this way?" So, in this case I could either just continue to wonder about it and not say anything or present what I was thinking honestly, which is what I did. I think I probably wrote too much and should have held some of it off until later.
What you say about trust and not judging has made me question whether that skepticism is right in the first place. I really am not sure if it is. I think that in this case I should have trusted you more, but I think that skepticism is generally good when considering ideas (at least general ideas not necessarily having to do with God). I'm not quite sure how to reconcile that.
Anyways... the things that you said in response to my questions are really good. They make what you are thinking alot clearer to me, and makes me more excited about what you guys are doing.
I agree with you about skepticism, and I was not directing the words about judgment straight at you. Some people I have talked about this with naturally judge me and instinctively think it is a wrong decision. I brought it up because I believe I am an instinctively judging person so honestly, it is probably what I would do (and it is what I did with a few people who were on this path before me). So I just like to bring it up now, in order to hopefully help people avoid the initial route I took, which was full of judgment, and mean thoughts towards other believers.
ReplyDeleteSkepticism can be great, and it should always be in practice while thought provoking conversations are taking place, shrewd as snakes right?
I like how you said you challenge ideas as a way to engage them, I am not used to this because many people I talk with just tend to argue their point until blue in the face, no matter how much sense the other side makes. Challenging an idea and seeing how it holds up makes much more sense, I'm glad you did it, as it made me solidify my thoughts and become more confident in the place I am at.